So today I took a test to see what my score on the scale was. I am #4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidently heterosexual. I am not that shocked. Even though I know I love women, I have found myself being attracted to men. I have had sex with one male before. We fucked a couple times. He was actually the first person I had sex with. I felt rather excited and nervous and scared all at the same time. I was going through a confusing time in life. I was leaving the church because I was gay but still was trying to find a way to make myself straight. After hooking up with, let’s call him Jake, I knew I was gay but I didn’t hate it.
With a woman I want to dominant and be the ‘fucker”. When I was with Jake I was submissive and I was “fucked”. I love the feeling of making my partner cum. It makes me more excited at the idea of pleasing a woman more than her fucking me. Don’t get me wrong I love being on the receiving end but hearing a woman scream my name while she cums is what I look forward to the most.
Would I have sex with a man?? I don’t know. My ex is extremely gay and would never touch a penis. I don’t think it’s repulsive. I have thought about being involved in a group sex event. Here in Vancouver it is quite a common thing in the gay community. I have had multiple invites but have never gone. The gay community out here is very “free love”. Lots of my friends have poly relationships. From time to time I have thought maybe that I should try it.
I didn’t know that sexuality was fluid and not a black and white situation. I think the majority of the world is starting to grasp the idea of having options. I am still exploring my boundaries and probably will for the rest of my life. Just like sexuality is a scale, basic sexual interest is on a scale as well. If I invented a scale to measure how much I think about sex compared to my commrades, I think I’d be a solid 9. I love sex and want to know more and more about it.
Today’s society let’s me say and do what I feel like, without being considered a whole. Oh how the times have changed! I’m ready to take full advantage of the situation. How about you?