Tonight was the first time in my life were I actually felt emotions during sex.
I have always been fascinated with sex and interested since my teenage years. I grew up in a staunch religious household so it was always a mystery. As I grew older my friends started talking about sex more and more. I heard a lot about straight sex but nothing really about lesbian sex. Of course besides the fact that every man gets a hard on watching two women kiss.
I started asking questions about why I seemed to have tis weird bond with my female friends. None of my other friends seemed to want more attention from their friends. I wanted to spend more and more time with my “friends” but never was comfortable. Then one day I saw a woman with shapely legs and a absolutely gorgeous ass. The problem was she was one of my Christian friends who I had known for at least a year. Then my eyes were opened in that moment, I knew I was gay and there is no way that it can be prayed away.
I went through years of trying to get deliverance for my evil lust. Nothing ever changed. I just felt more and more guilty. Then after the last session I had. I stood in the bedroom alone and spent an hour telling god that if he didn’t appear or send an angel or something to give me proof, I would walk away and accept who I was. After that moment of crying and pleading for a sign, I realized it was over. It had all been a show. I was considered an outcast the last 10 years and now it was over.
It took a while for me to try and get over me thinking I was still going to hell. Eventually I met a woman who I liked. Miraculously she liked me back. We have been together for over a year now. Sex with her was amazing!! I had sex with one man willingly before but never climaxed. I wasn’t repulsed but it didn’t do it for me. This woman though was amazing. I felt things physically I didn’t know I could even feel. It was like the best gift in the world to me. Complete bliss.
Tonight though was the first time it wasn’t just sex. I felt any overwhelming sensation that she actually loved me. While she was going down on me, I started to have these thoughts that she liked what she was doing. Before I had always thought it was just a duty she felt she needed to do because I would fuck her first. I can’t seem to get enough of her but when the tables are turned, I think she doesn’t feel the same.
Tonight a flood gate of emotions were unleashed. Sex took on a new meaning. That part of me that shut off after I was raped, started to resurect itself. My automatic emotional off switch was broken and I felt something. Not for very long but enough to leave me sobbing in her arms after we were done. Thankfully I was able to summarize the reason for the tears so she didn’t think she didn’t something wrong. She held me and I cried and had a glimpse of how much better sex and life can feel.
Its exciting…It’s new…It’s terrifying
I can’t wait to fuck her again and see what kind of connection we can actually develop.
sexunleashed 